Tourist

Chiung Yao's romantic novel, there is a stylized description of that conflict is the core of many stories-law conflicts. Male and female are very in love, but the man often has a widowed mother for many years, she and the heroine go against everything. Actor is very good also very filial piety, unwilling to hurt his mother, while he was deeply in love with the female lead; heroine of the actor is infatuation, but can not stand his mother's everywhere to make things difficult. This dilemma so that male and female, and also hard to be difficult, thus driving the development of the story; eventually tend to have a tragic ending. The female lead in this inextricable contradictions in extreme pain, she chose to run away from home, or die of grief. Such stories make cachet of teenage girls and starry-eyed young woman who watched the side away tears, unable to stop.

Qiong Yao's story is romantic, but her mother-and daughter talking about the universality of contradictions in reality, very. A look at our neighbors, and relatives and friends were bar-laws have some conflicts more or less. Do not live together, there is the appearance of harmony; living together, like the Ukrainian eye like a bucket of chicken a Mei Wan.

Why do not other family affection between mother-and daughter relationships, as calm, for example, Wengxu relationship; why the number of mothers get together, talk about a wife to endless complaints about it all?

I think the contradictions in-laws does not matter who produces what wrong, nor is it who will not deal with interpersonal relationships, it stems from the universality of human nature, more precisely, from women's characteristics. I think that the resulting conflict-laws have the following three reasons:

First, the child wins. We have often heard her mother complain that after her son talked about his girlfriend, especially after the marriage he did not so good as before. Others are very filial piety from an early age his mother, listen to mother's words Guaier Zi, married later, obviously with his mother grew apart. The signs are to convey a message to his mother that his son's wife Qianzhu all of the thoughts, the son put more care and attentive to his wife, while his mother ignored a lot; it to have been his son as the child's mother felt that her son farther and farther away from their own. Mother felt the main reason for this phenomenon is the emergence of a wife. Therefore, the kind of mother would her son to vent their anger with his estranged wife. Perhaps the wife has not done nothing wrong, but because of heart with such bitterness, so how to see how it unacceptable and daughter. Especially since some mothers, young widowhood, depending on the spirit of his son as a pillar of his son's alienation as if deprived of the spirit of relying on her; the mother is even more resentment of her son, daughter snatched her into a lonely spirit. Chiung Yao's novels I have mentioned above, the right type of small to analyze the mother's state of mind, but the performance of such mothers are most vividly. In particular, these mothers do not want to see her son and daughter-in front of her affection, because in her view, there go the closer, the more far away from here on. Some of the mothers early in the morning of a wife is called up to do housework, or see the wife up late, and unhappy; is not what a wife really wrong, just because her mother do not want to see her son and daughter spend more affectionate.

To resolve such contradictions in-laws, the best way is after his son got married and live separately from their parents, eyes do not see a net. In addition, the sensible mother's son better not to be too affectionate in front of the wife; want to intimate to return to their home and how little can be affectionate. Done at random before the mother that make the mother's mind a lot more practical.

The second is jealous. Son, married love, the family of a young woman more. Generally speaking, young women than in older women more attractive to men and his wife caused by the arrival of the most attention in addition to this family other than his son is the father of. We are private between the father and the daughter-in-deviance is called "Pa Hui." Novel "Dream of Red Mansions", the focus has Bahui large cursed Jia's things out of course, refers to the funeral Tianxiang Lou Qin Ke-qing lewd matter, JIA Zhen Qin Ke-qing, and father of this paragraph. This phenomenon is not uncommon in popular, because if an individual, and there is no word of a dedicated; the vast majority of people will not have this to happen, because the Chinese people's conscience is still relatively strong. But not to say that any father-daughter pairs had the idea of a father is a big rogue? I do not think so. My Fair Lady seeking gentleman well these words, in the family circle will not necessarily come out, but the idea is unavoidable, and it is very normal. On the contrary, I feel that if father did not mind that feeling, that is not quite in line with human nature.

I want to make an example. We pass a high-end of West Point, when the shop window and saw windows stood an attractive cream cake, if we are hungry, we do not wish to bite a few mouthfuls of that cream cake? However, we may be reluctant to spend money or no money with him; So, take a look at an attractive cream flowers, cream smell that intoxicating fragrance, swallowing saliva, may be left. However, you do not buy it, you do not eat, do not you do not want to buy it does not want to eat, but take into account other factors, you only give up the idea of eating. But if your family bought milk cake, you want to eat when not restrained and eat all you want ?. But it can not hold that, you are only interested in pairs of family cake and butter cake, the outside is not interested in it?

Law and ethics can only block the action, nothing can block the thought, or block the idea of layman's terms. Understand this principle is very easy to understand the kind of father and daughter-in-the delicate relationship between them. On the one hand is the opposite sex, while daughter-off than the old woman young and beautiful, fresh and mysterious, her father even more attractive. However, in most cases, the Chinese people by moral constraints, will restrain the idea of living does not meet the moral, and the surface of What's the matter did not look.

Zennai who restrain their action, will inevitably expose the subconscious instinctive action. For example, a casual look at a wife, or vision, when swept in the wife's body remained for half a second more than a father he did not realize anything, or that he thought it all very natural, there is nothing inappropriate places; but mother out of woman's unique way sensitive, but to accurately capture this phenomenon. Mother felt the father's mind aroused wife attracted the attention of father, old man of their original focus has changed. Leading to the reasons for this phenomenon, of course, went into the house of the wife. And so they blame on the wife's own sense of loss. Even the old man's a casual movement, an expression, is also considered to be the old man her mother began to hate himself, and tired himself, this is kicking up clouds of bad wife.

Wife went into the house, the grandmother was the first loss of the child after the loss, she thought to feel better? That all heart imbalance, it is clear that not blame wife blame Who? But that is difficult in the ming, so there will be a through grandson, Through good and bad food, or through other chores at home will mean up. Where unsuspecting wife, because she was the kind of mind to wait a few years later, and so she became a mother, she can understand, this moment she could not understand. Mother how she felt finding fault it for no reason? Her mother unreasonable strange, strange lady is an old monster. This hatchback have this kind of psychology, she met one can do? Can do is not noisy?

Or in front of said, his son and daughter-in-laws do not live together, father and daughter meet less, such troubles would be reduced, the gas must shun her mother much more.

The third is jealous. Literary works in the film where we often see such a performance. When a man praise a woman in front when another woman, that woman will say: "Do not praise a woman before another woman." Why? You say another woman is good, she listened to be jealous.

I am a teacher in the National Taiwan Normal University, I taught class there are two female students prefer to come to chat with me. Whenever I mentioned in a girl before the merits of the other girls when the two girls were amazingly consistent, they look like a great expression, and are not willing to listen to. Easily lead to jealousy among women, especially when a pretty girl one time, more likely to be jealous of other girls. The same unit, the same sections, and the more recent jealousy will be. They may not have any interest, the young beautiful in itself would have been jealous of other women. By middle age after the beauty is gone, this will be reduced on a beautiful lot of jealousy; is because of this, among the middle-aged women are particularly vulnerable to making friends. After the women move into middle age, much easier to get along with each other. Therefore, the young wife has just come to her husband, her young and beautiful, and her beautiful wardrobe, and make has entered the middle-aged and even elderly mother-envy. A man's wife will often buy some clothes from time to time to the mother to help her mother dress up dress up, so you can defuse some of this jealousy.

Mentioned above, the relationship between mother-and daughter prone to three major reasons for the contradictions, I think that human nature, this three kinds of incentives have led to conflicts exist, but because each person's ethical standards, interpersonal abilities and each family the specific situation is somewhat different; so, it may be diluted in some family conflicts, and did not stand out, while in another family, then the expression was even more acute. If you want to understand, the relationship between a person's social attributes, social attributes and human beings in addition, there are natural attributes, you can easily understand my analysis. Of my analysis was not justified, you can try other people think you are familiar with, but it is best not to tell his people face to face to listen, understand very well on it. Specifically to refer to someone's there such a thing, people of non-urgent you can not.

I was an only child, parents irascible character, which is very influential to my childhood, grow up, I am a bit introverted and reticent, and even feel lonely, I am quietly determined, my future life must not repeat the same mistakes.

Adult parents retired, I am at home provoked a beam. After being introduced, I know now wife. She was already in the community they work hard, to live more than I thought, social experience than I am wide. Married in 2067, we have the first very good relationship, a chat you can chat 12 hours, but the last two years, she always publicly reprove me.

I opened a teahouse. On one occasion, a customer to drink tea, but he felt that TV does not look good, they do not want to make tea. I let him pay, but the other refused, the wife and the other noisy up. However, I stand aside, no noisy customers.

Indifferent to his wife to see me do not stand up and help her argument, in front of many people's face, began to reprove me. She shouted at me: "I do not reprove you, not a means to bully you, yells at you, you will not even dare to open cavity." I think that the business should be based and for expensive, but she believed that a man on the standing in a line should be, and his wife.

On another occasion, a customer and my father started to argue, leaving ferocious. The man to speak with a curse word, my father was non-compliance, they pushed him, and two people pulling it in such a small place. My father call me hands-on, I think there is no big thing well, it did not move standing, I think certainly not the customers hands.

His wife began to reproach me, saying that I do not help them deal jointly with that person, and that I am weak, and that I is not a man. This is for any people, all can not stand, are a very Shang Zizun thing. The person next to me said she was seen very flat.
I was Jiugei father said it was your own hands first, to push others, who first hands-on, whoever does not. Unfortunately, the wife does not think so.

The most powerful one is that she took something hit me, I had to fight back, she was a knife threatened me, saying that as long as I close, I would Nadao Kan. I have others that she was too hurt my self-esteem, and I very depressed.

The evening of April 8, because the unit dinner, I had 11 points to go home, and she is still with the house across the street neighbor's house a cards. But she was already pregnant for more than seven months, part of labor status. I think she's definitely hungry, give her back to Dai Ledian barbecue. I also told her that was already very late resort to for a while, come back early. I will go back to rest. A result, three or four o'clock, I woke up and found her not to come back. I called her, and she is a look at my phone, they hung up. A separation of more than 10 minutes, seeing that she has not come back, I gave her call, she did not take. Separated for half an hour, I resort to the past, she has been shut down.

I cried from the window across the street had several more, and she also told me once a roar, and she said she knew. Separated for a while, not seen moving, where I fall asleep, but also up and say her home. She asked me trouble Sha Zi, the tone sounds very upset. I am also furious. Next to the estimates by our The couple burst of frustration, no more thoughts continue fighting.
4 points before, she returned, the door energetically open, and entered the room arbitrary rejection thing. I began to reprove the ... ... I am depressed, I was well-intentioned.

She reprove I have become a commonplace, it is really hurt my feelings, I even have some doubts as marriage, the heart is difficult to bear. I have been thinking about how to deal with these things, but there is no answer.

Quarreled before I talked with her all, but things later, like her would reprove me. The past two days, I did not reason her, she did not take the initiative to find me. She never told me why should we reprove me, why make a man so wounded self-esteem thing, Perhaps she does not think that is called chatter.

Few days, I sleep well, my day a little later lost confidence go on like this, really be a divorce. This time, I do not want to compromise, otherwise I would feel very inferior. The child will be born, I do not know will bring good luck to our family?
If the account for reasons, I am not afraid of
Reporter: Do you own assessment that he is not very weak?

Gao Bing: Maybe there may be this point. But I do not stand firm stand to look at reasonable and justified I afraid, how easily, even out of the big things, like the person has died, and my heart will not panic, absolutely realistic, because the bulk will not be borne by me. I do not provoke who first, if the other party no reason to bully me, I will your life. But if indeed my responsibility, I would certainly not speak up.
Reporter: your father's temper, up to now such a hot-tempered, why are you so docile?
Gao Bing: I can not tell, probably parents often quarrel, so I do not like the bar arguing over that issue.
Reporter: divorce, true to such a serious problem it?

Gao Bing: I have not told her Yueqi Guo, I just said to my father. My father said, and her marriage is my choice, and advised me not away from. My family is still very responsible, but I really hard to balance. If divorced, and certainly my heart is bad enough to continue, I do not know what the back would break out.

The minds of many would like to, she said, could be said does not export. From the beginning to now in just two and a half months. Every time she thought could be really good painful thought, as a man should not be easy to cry, forgive me hypocritical, I really want to cry.

A beginning, I knew her, we are a company, I graduated from college, she was educated lower than me, that is my only gives me the courage to pursue her causes. After a special festival day, I am depressed repeatedly sent her text messages on the dramatic knew her, and now want to come might be heaven for my bar blink of an eye on him. Her gentle beautiful in my eyes, though she always says he's brutal, I am a quiet inner phase of the men, college graduates up to now not spoken in love, although many people chasing her but she has not talked about, I feel that my to find a barbaric girlfriend, I hope that she would from time to time in front of me like a baby, really good looking forward to some day.

I am because it is love, what did not understand, she always said I am not romantic, in fact, I look cool, romantic heart is a very enthusiastic person. Is just the beginning still can not relax. She has told me that her own good, we are all people who do not know how to refuse, so we have been away for a month, she was good as gold at home, the daughter heard what her parents, and her parents to allow her to 23 years old only love, it is now 21 and I 23. Therefore, she has always been afraid to take me to see her parents, she is also very timid love I just want to be able to find a married person, in fact I am serious, I just want to marry her.

80 after the woman said the most realistic. She did not dare to take me to see her parents to the fact that her parents know that I am afraid of the conditions clubbing mandarin duck. But now college students who have graduated from a high of harsh conditions, hard on the 10 years of study, in addition to well-off families are like this, and she just wanted her parents to have at least added a house man.

One morning, she suddenly said to me, texting me let go, and I was really good can not be reconciled, I feel she is like me, just do not want her parents to make things difficult, I think of her before and said those words, really a good cry, do not know if you still remember, when I tell you, no matter who is what happens after the misunderstanding between us, do not ignore each other, face to face must be clear, do not let misunderstandings retained. But you have just made a message to comment on this end.

Yes ah, I was a certain sense of inferiority, and some aloof from worldly affairs of men, I am not the kind of person who persists in arguing endlessly, you decide to go I will not be forced you. Former friends often comment on the surrounding beauty, he was a bother to bring this to people who will soon forget you, but as time went by thoughts of your days and nights are a continuation of the good would like to return to the past that time, although the Sentimental, but also happy. In front of you, your friends with a smile said to me, is also very good because I do not want to lose your thoroughly before agreeing to, you know when my heart is in the blood. You will hurt my heart forever.

Women are often emotional needs for men to ask questions, and often let men have their minds this feature to reduce, we can say they have been doing this. From another aspect of evolutionary psychology to prove this point.

Men also have emotional needs, even though not a woman so much. In the men you want to hear what you say be considered, let us first consider the next appropriate communication and effective listening during the most important factor is.

While we are discussing with your man want to hear what you say, but we also want to make sure the next when he would communicate.

Even though it may appear in rare cases, but also to determine if you are able to detect the next he wants to get to hear from you what. God gave us two ears and one mouth, so we can hear is the words twice as high. Effective listening will make you familiar with a number of warning signals, these signals tell you that his emotional needs are not being met.

Woman ah, you often ask your men can multi-point with their own emotional exchange, good, come on, the following is that they want to hear what you say.
1, "I will support any efforts you have made."

We have all heard such a saying: behind every great man there is always one more great woman. We are not asking you have to stop at a man behind, but there are so many songs they sing: "support your man," This is what we requested. Support us to achieve things now going to it, when we love a woman in any way to accept and encourage us, you will feel what we have done incredible. Doing the next thing, we hope that women will continue to do so.
2, "I accept you and everything you have!"

An immediate family outside the love for our acceptance in the majority of our people, is a romantic nature of the relationship. However, many relationships are broken because of a reason, and that is because both sides do not accept each other in any appearance or form. Do not cry, do not go to change his. Accept his man, or to people who looked more appropriate. To regard him as a "pet project" in this plan, you put your passion to transform him, so you can let him progress, both in emotional or physical aspects (more likely the former).
3, "Baby, we are a team, inside!"

Kind of relationship with any other very much the same romantic relationship should be based on communication, common tasks, as well as the views of other solid foundations. Outside is a cruel world, but also looking more and more brutal. Just because we are men, does not mean that every bit of pressure and must be made by us to bear, even though sometimes we adhere to suffer the pressure. Sometimes we just want to hear you say that those who can rise to a series of things that can not be pondering what these things if properly developed, it would be unbreakable.

4, "you're hot (I mean is that )!"

Let us face the bar - everyone - men and women and hope that their passing has been tested, and are being tested and is safe to tell you not only pass, and it was endorsed onlookers you think you are very good.

In fact, this feeling with many others feel different, but as "Baby, you are very hot today," This kind of casual and natural than the prevalence of the words "I love you" or just hope not to mention the monotony out of words " You look good "is both a lot better.
5, "I love you anyway."

To listen to one of your loved one (especially the so and so) to say "I love you" This phrase has become a kind of us look forward to. This is very common, in a certain context, to put it too will become a burden. All said such a thing of the people do know the hidden meaning? In this sad era of globalization, whether we love the standards be lowered? In many social projects, men must play, and followed their roles and tasks. We are forced to make great efforts, but also great risk. We feel it is necessary to do all of these things, but in our thinking behind it there is the possibility of failure. Most men believe that everyone wants to listen to what they love to say something, wants to no matter in what circumstances can feel love, even if they suffer defeat. This is the unconditional love of the features - the most real and can be demonstrated only a form of love.

From a woman in her views on the existing relationships it is difficult, the above in most of the sincerity of these words come out. However, the idea that they say it might be able to test and decide on whether your existing relationships, as you might think in general.

A man's taste lies in choosing a wife, choose what kind of wife is equivalent to choose what kind of life. As the saying goes, men fear choosing the wrong profession, women are afraid to marry the wrong Lang, a man is it not. Write "Ken Tam" Hung Ying-ming, said
"Han Qi shame insult, I really do not if it is also deaf!"
Less dense pale demon a long time, the marriage as well. William Shakespeare's life and wrote many wonderful plays, but his views on marriage does not have any romantic. Predictability of the road because of his marriage and the hardships of life would wear a better understanding of love.

People live this life, what we have to it? Really need is a good mentality and leisurely mood. Only family harmony, a healthy state of mind only people who have the leisure conditions. For example marry a good woman can give a man of leisure mood --

1. The most important qualities a woman should be good, but 100 Yoshitaka first. The world does not know how many of the hardy men being affected by his wife and his real mother splint between the gas? If I were a man, if going to be my wife girl dare to ask me "me and your mother out into the river, you first save the Who?"
I have one accurate Pass her off, this is simply not a human being, then!
2. Virtuous, this is everlasting virtues of women.

3. Notices over ceremony, which is a new era for women with the times demand. A woman's temperament and upbringing is a rich revelation of the heart, but also with others, and distanced themselves from the real lie.

4. Thoughtful and good taste. Have thought that she bothered to get involved in making the gossip among others, she has always been an "insulator." Tasteful, allowing her to express their own imaginative style. I will not tolerate his wife walk Road to see everything, not me poor, can not be spoiled her it wrong!

5. Sensible. For the most important thing is the dignity of man, she can at home attacking me, but not in public satire, making fun of me. 1 do not know the dignity of a woman to maintain her husband, not matter whether.

6. Full confidence, relatively free. Grass is always greener in fact is a human instinct, no one can guarantee a lifetime is only right that a person has a good impression. We advise the world to be married to a woman all the intentions of learning "medical psychology", to understand her husband likes to picture books, web pages Ningmou beauty of the hobby, not because they are unconscious acts of carping. Otherwise, the marriage is to push the death. He wanted to be alone, do not Suizui what is asked whether, brought a cup of tea, gently shut the door just fine.
7. To have a stable income. Survival is not dependent on a man a woman can achieve independence, self-esteem.

8. There is no excessive desire for material goods. It is very important! Since ancient times, into the success or failure by the thrift by the extravagance. Moreover, complacent and optimistic nature enabled her to continue the youth. Excessive vanity often not "ostentatious"
The man produced mental stress, and even this overwhelmed. My wife should sit BMW, bicycles can ride too; five-star hotel stay, camping tents do not mind, eating life of hardship, Fang Wei Ren Exalted.

9. Refused to feasting, and do not over-enthusiasm for the opposite sex. She has a good living habits, smoking, drinking, all-night feast carnival will happen to her, and she would not go to bars, nightclubs such places spend their time. She knew his worth is not to please the opposite sex, so it will not take the initiative and the other men approached, niche products is the Spring Snow.

10. Naive a little playful element. If a man really love a woman, it should be to maximize the care of her innocence. Playful element is not missing woman, make a long boring Simuxiangdui great sport.